Inferiority Complex
by Errie Wyvern
Summary: Because when you strive to be someone you are not, to love someone who will not love you back, you can find yourself forfeiting everything for your cause. TIDUS


Because when you strive to be someone you are not, to love someone who will not love you back, you can find yourself forfeiting everything for your cause. One sided Tidus/Sora, Wakka/Tidus and Sora/Riku, not to mention a smidgeon of one-sided Wakka/Sora, inspired by Uzumaki-sama and her story Stygian Solace, and her lovely Anti-Rikus. (Anti-RikuHeartless in the shape of Riku)

Woo! Very first Kingdom Hearts fic!

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Tidus wasn't an idiot.

He knew that Riku and Sora were...together. Together in the way that Tidus wanted to be with Sora. He had watched them once, when they thought that nobody was looking. Those chaste kisses, and later at night, those hot touches and heavy pants and Sora's bronzed, slick, glowing skin that looked so...

But Tidus liked to think that he wasn't gay. He'd followed Wakka home once, and asked the boy, in a completely casual and cool way of course, if he'd wanted to fool around a little bit. Experiment. See if girls were really the things for them. Wakka had looked at him a little surprised, then shrugged and said in his noncommittal way, "Jah, I mean, if nothing else, at least we'll know for sure, jah?"

And so Tidus had pounced on him. Ripped the arm off his shirt and held him in a hot kiss. Wakka had gasped, the opening little more to Tidus than an invitation for his tongue. Wakka lost a little more shirt, Tidus lost his shoes and his vest had been thrown off a long time ago.

Wakka all the sudden pulled back, stood up, grabbed Tidus and flung him onto the couch. The Blitzball players explored each others muscles, kissing each other tenderly and passionately, but each imagining someone else in their mind's eye. When Wakka groaned, "Sora..." in that rough voice of his, Tidus had paused and turned away.

He sat up, more than a little jealous. "So, it's Sora for you too?"

Wakka looked away, a little ashamed. "Jah, I suppose so. I mean...I don't even know what it is about him...he's just...he's hopeful, know?"

Tidus looked down and whispered, "Yeah, I know."

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When Tidus had learned of Riku's love for Sora, or at least his growing attraction, it had attracted Tidus himself. Sure, he'd helped Riku hide his love, warned him when he was paying too much attention to certain parts of Sora's anatomy, and he made sure to aim those coconuts very carefully, and throw them extremely hard.

If they hit, he simply muttered a small apology and made sure to aim lower next time.

Because, you see, it wasn't that Tidus hated Riku, per say.

It was that Tidus was extremely envious. He wanted Sora, wanted him as long as Riku had. He wanted to be the one to save him, to be the one to take his hand and share the Paopu and kiss his delicate skin in the moonlight.

When he was covering for Riku, he took the time beforehand to admire Sora's slim figure as well. After all, Tidus and Sora were fairly close friends, having spent the night at each others house, and hell, they even wore the same pant size. Would it really be that weird to Sora if he caught Tidus staring at his hips? No, Sora would probably just wave a hand in front of his face and ask him where'd he'd been.

Tidus longed to reply with, "Quite in love you, Sora." And then proceed to kiss him senseless.

But Tidus was a good friend. In his own way, he took retaliation for covering for Riku by also admiring the boy and, of course, tossing the occasional coconut or blitzball at Riku's sensitive bits. It wasn't that bad of a deal.

But it sowed the seed of hatred deep in the pit of Tidus' stomach, made it ache and flare in the middle of the night, made him touch himself and think of Sora. It made him stuff a bit of his pillow in his mouth to muffle the scream. And it made him obsess over Sora. He began to organize more things that involved less clothing. No belts. No gloves. No pants, only shorts. Nope, your shirt has gotta come off for this bit, Sora. Hell, might as well just walk around half naked all the time, it's summer, right?

Riku's eyes began to narrow when they looked at him, and Tidus just stared back innocently. What? It's the middle of summer! Less clothing is better! Good excuses at the time, very good excuses. But Riku could smell pretext from a mile away.

And so the Paopu.

That event that made Tidus' inner demons snap and howl and rage against their barriers. Fucking Riku took what belonged to him, took Sora and the destiny and the Paopu.

He hoped, spitefully, for the ocean to open up and swallow all of them.

He just didn't know how right he'd be.

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He was in…darkness. It was deep and warm and slightly sticky. He didn't know if he was moving, he didn't know if he was in air or water, if he was suffocating or drowning, if he was alive or dead. He was just there, floating around in the darkness. He'd been here for quite some time, he knew. Where anyone else was, he had no idea. And he found the darkness comforting, so he sat there and pouted and refused to care about anyone.

Anyone but Sora.

He wondered what Sora was doing, if he was trapped in this sticky darkness as well, and if he found it as comforting as Tidus did. In his half-sleepy-or-near-dead state, he almost didn't notice the light. The little speck of brightness just a little bit away. He almost didn't notice, and if he had, he most certainly would not have cared, until a voice wept through the darkness...

"Riku…I miss you, Riku…Riku, come be with me! Come on, Riku! RIKU!" And the last word dissolved into a heart wrenching cry.

Tidus looked up, distantly thinking, 'Sora? Sora, I can be your Riku, I can be the one to comfort you at night and love you and keep you warm and safe and still.'

And he paddled his way through the sweet cove of darkness, felt it whisper at his neck sadly and try to pull him back. He ignored it and paddled harder. He had to reach Sora…Sora was all that mattered now…

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This wasn't right.

He was Sora's Riku now, but one of many. There were a dozen Rikus, black and indistinct in anything but their shape, mere shadows of the actual love interest. Tidus could see himself reflected in their shiny yellow eyes and knew that he was the same as them, and he started to wonder if Wakka was here, or Selphie or Kairi or anyone else from the island with a fixation on Sora.

When Sora stumbled into the small, dark room, crying and whimpering and whispering for Riku, Tidus became mindless.

Comfort.

Console.

Touch.

Touch him anywhere. His arm, his neck, his cheek, his chest, lower, lower, lower still until he shoves you away.

Become that which you had, at one point, feared.

The darkness can take you to that which you desire most, feed your lust and make it burn brighter than any star in the sky, brighter than his eyes and in exchange, you only have to sacrifice your heart and your soul and your mind.

To Tidus, it's the greatest bargain in the world.


End file.
